A Valentine’s Thorn in Your Side
February 14th is known to most as Valentine’s Day. For many, it’s a day to celebrate the love they share with their significant others, family and friends alike. However, for some, Valentine’s Day can be a day of additional stress, depression, anxiety or other mental and emotional health challenges. Here are some stressors people may face on this day of love and how to fight them:
You’re single and unable to mingle – Arguably the #1 cause of stress or anxiety on Valentine’s Day stems from the fact that you may be single – despite your attempts to be in a relationship. If or when this situation does cause you stress and anxiety, try and find something to combat it, such as attending various single’s events like speed dating, cooking classes or simply take some time for yourself! Take a relaxing bath, cook up a fancy meal or treat yourself to your favorite restaurant. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate the day loving yourself!
Distance is keeping you apart – Whether it’s a long-distance relationship, being away on a business trip or any other circumstance that is keeping you or your significant other apart, spending Valentine’s away from your loved one can be a major cause of anxiety or depression. If you find yourself in a situation like this, try making alternative plans instead. Find a new day where you can celebrate in-person, schedule a time to talk over the phone or by video chat, or simply send each other gifts to show that you’re thinking of them.
It stirs up past (unpleasant) emotions or memories – Instead of reminiscing on past failures, simply remind yourself that things did not work out for a reason and that those ‘mistakes’ aren’t a make or break situation for your daily life. If you do find yourself having trouble bouncing back from those previous heartbreaks, practicing resilience can help!
Lofty expectations – Everyone has their ideal Valentine’s Day situation. Maybe it is being surprised with an unexpected tropical getaway, or reservations to a candlelight diner at that one restaurant that’s been booked solid for 2 years. Either way, chances are these grandiose displays of affection you have in your head aren’t in the realm of possibility. Instead, speak with your significant other about what you can do to celebrate that is both reasonable and enjoyable for the both of you.
Shifts in your relationship level – Another possible issue that can arise form Valentine’s Day is the conversation regarding changes in your relationship. Maybe one of you wants to settle down, maybe it’s about having kids or even your living situations. Whatever it may, going into Valentine’s Day not knowing what to expect or what may change can cause excess stress. Have these discussions ahead of time to avoid the surprise of an uncomfortable dinner conversation.
Money problems – With the average cost of things increasing, such as rent, groceries and the ever-fluctuating gas prices, many people don’t have much spare change to spend on things they may deem as ‘non-essentials’. This is even more true after the typical amount of holiday spending individuals just two months prior to Valentine’s Day that may have already caused you some financial stress. Based on a National Retail Federation survey, the average person spends close to $162 on Valentine’s day. That’s almost $325 per couple! Have a discussion with your significant other beforehand and come up with reasonable budgets for gifts. Or maybe focus more on something homemade and sentimental instead of an expensive night out and fancy gifts like roses or chocolates.
